Anger Management

There is quite a lot of stuff on anger management on the web, a google search brings it up, like everything else eh!
The model which gave some explanation about people's anger behavior made sense. It described the common ways of dealing with anger.
The first and best is EXPRESSING anger. That does not mean simply blowing one's top. Expressing can be negative or positive. Negative usually results in someone getting hurt or worse and whilst relieving feelings of anger in the short term, does not provide long term resolution of the problem causing the anger.
Positive expression of anger means converting the energy towards a positive outcome. More of that after discussing the two other approaches.

SUPPRESSING or diverting anger is the second approach. Keeping a lid on it, so to speak. Changing thought pattern. Getting self to a different mental place,  If you are able to imagine yourself snorkeling on a coral reef or whatever is your favorite pastime, well and good. Whatever can be focused on to break the mood. This strategy does not in itself resolve the problem, if other steps are not taken then a bottling up effect can have negative health and relationship repercussions.

CALMING the situation is the third, counting to ten, speaking to yourself, taking steps to lower heart rate, deep breathing, walk around for a few minutes, have some active exercise. Again, calming stops a fight but does not in itself resolve the underlying problem and can result in downstream health/relationship problems

Personality types dictate which approach is best used however the understanding that expressing is preferable is based on the premise that it is often a resolution or pathway to resolution of the underlying problem leading to the anger episode and exercising positive expression achieves release of tension as well as working towards resolution.

There are probably a number of strategies of expression which can be used. The first which comes to mind is a three step process.
1, As anger is rising, think about the individual concerned and make an honest appraisal as to the value of this person. It may be a friend or family member, a teacher, it may be a fellow student with whom there is no particular relationship, it may be someone with whom there is already tension.

 A friend or loved one can often be in a heated argument and to remind oneself that this is a highly valued person helps to redirect the energy towards identifying and solving the underlying problem.

 A neutral person we may not consider so important to remain friends with, however it is much better not to be enemies so considering that other people value the individual so even if they are not your cup of tea so to speak, the benefit of working out the problem rather than losing the plot is evident.

With those with whom there is already tension, that is often because of jealousy. They can often be competitors for friends and even through we thing they are the greatest dork, it is surprising how often mutual friends are shared by them and ourselves.  This kind of competition occurs throughout life. Men experience the alpha male syndrome whereby the evolutionary pressures dictate that the most successful or powerful gets the best mate explains the root of a lot of arguments.
Again. love em or hate em, solving the problem is still the best outcome and sometimes results in overcoming the tensions which exist.

2. Having reminded yourself that the individual is a valuable person, (to someone) and that fighting is not a long term solution, to try and engage the other person in the task of identifying the actual problem.
3. Having identified the problem, all that remains is to propose solutions.
That was strategy 1

Strategy 2 recognizes that on different days we can exhibit more or less of one of the three different personality types i.e. Expressing, Suppressing, or calming so depending on how we feel, it may be appropriate to take some of type b or c and mix it with type one if we are basically an expresser.
An example might be, first do the old count to ten. do some deep breathing, then think about the other person and appreciate their value, whether it be loved one or competitor in the pecking order in the class or office.

Strategy 3, is more of a general approach technique. It is common to treat each episode of anger as an independent unit. Find a pathway to deal with it and it is over. It may have been a good outcome, moderate or even poor but it is over.

Think of each episode of anger as a battle not as a war. the war has a number of battles and in a war there are counter attacks, ambushes, guerrilla tactics, artillery bombs and propaganda to mention a few.
If we  imagine anger to be the enemy as if it were a person and engage in a war with planned strategy, plan a, b, c and so on. In a war, the winning side does not rely on only one tactic, e.g. an all out frontal attack, but will have a plan to weaken the enemy economically, weaken morale amongst population and troops. then start bombing etc before sending in ground troops.

The war against anger should also be multi pronged and flexible using every tool available sometimes more than one at once, have constant review of progress and readiness to change if not successful.